ponderous poetry for the hoi polloi




How the fool in me longs for

The silent sweetness of her kiss,

Still ringing in my ear,

While my body performs the most hopeless

Series of contortions

Just to stay in her shadow.


Oh how I’m in hot pursuit!

Counting the racing stripes on her ribcage,

1, 2, 3,


Clinging onto the coattails of a

Fifty-foot butterfly,

So high she flies, in her insectile disguise,

Shaking me off with a smile.


But when the sun has ceased to share her joy,

There she’ll remerge,

From the hollow doorway,

The crack of darkness above the earth,

My loveable tormentor, midnight intruder,

Don’t be rude or I’ll silence you with a kiss!

And I’ll never let you pass me by.

Dionaea muscipula

Femme fatale of the flowery world,

Mother Nature’s Mata Hari,

But no matter how hard you try to

Convince me she’s bad news,

I spy with my little eye

Something beginning with ‘v’…


Venus! Wow what a beauty!

In her harlequin jacket,

Giving me the green light,

And luckily for her I’m not one to

Beat around the bush,


I wanna head straight for the good stuff!


‘Come in, come in!’ her carmine-coloured feelers say to


Forty-one pretty fingers,

Beckoning me over,

Bringing me closer to my dea-


Stop! Don’t ruin the moment!

Instead, just let me dream of her

Sticky tape lipstick,

Firebrick Pritt Stick,

Tricking me into


Her lair, where

Her syrupy tongue awaits,

So deliciously, inauspiciously, viciously viscous,

I love her lava, her lava I



But as you wouldn’t stare into the sun,

Don’t look too closely into her eyes!

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